


I Love You My Bucky Bear

by heartingbarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Play, Bed-Wetting, Bedtime Stories, Cribs, Cuddles, Diapers, Fluff, Kids Movies, Little!Bucky - Freeform, Lots Of Love And Softness, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Toys, Wetting, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-18 12:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14852472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartingbarnes/pseuds/heartingbarnes
Summary: Bucky cant stop falling into headspace and wishes he had someone to rely on, but he's too ashamed to ask anyone... Until someone asks him.





	1. Out Of Question

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie/gifts).



He woke up drenched in sweat, his hair sticky to the sides of his face. "Shit" He said with a sigh as he leaned back on his elbows, looking beneath the cover to see a dried up puddle surrounding him. At first he couldn't tell if it was sweat or you know, the "other" thing but then the smell hit him. He sighed even deeper and the tiniest of sobs escaped his mouth. "Um...Buck?" Steve quietly said as he stood in the door frame not sure whether to actually go into his best friend's room or not. Bucky jolted into a the sitting position, covering as much of himself with the quilt as he could. "Oh uh hi S-Steve" he said, brushing the hair out of his face, trying to come off as organised and calm when really he was the complete opposite. Steve bit his bottom lip in worry, he could tell something had been bothering Buck for weeks now but he just didn't have the nerves to ask him, yet. Bucky stood up, slightly smiled at Steve and walked into the small bathroom in his room, the quilt wrapped around the lower half of his body. Steve let out a small sigh as Buck closed the bathroom door, obviously a sign that he wanted to be alone right now, Steve didn't object but instead just walked away back down the hallway.

 

Should I ask Natasha? No, hell no she would never see me the same if I did. There's no way in hell I'm asking Sam either, He'd probably say yes as if it were a joke. Bucky's mind was drowning in thoughts and ideas as he sat in the shower, breathing in the steam. He ran his callused hands over his face as the shower water rushed over his figure. For the past few weeks he has come to accept that he is a little, at first he thought it was just some weird fetish thing, but he realizes that it's just who he is. For him to be stable and mentally healthy, he needs to find a carer. The only person he ever has and still trusts is Steven Rogers, but he is way out of the question. He has asked anonymously online but then he freaked out about letting a complete stranger be his daddy or mummy, so he quit on that idea. And now he's back to the drawing board all over again. 

 

He walked downstairs and into the main quarters of the stark tower, where he and all of the residing avengers live, and sat down at the table. Clint walked past him and patted him on the shoulder, as if out of sympathy. Bucky turn and looked at him trying to register what that was about, Clint kept walking past him to the fridge to pull out the milk so Bucky just let it pass by. Steve walked over from the bench tops and sat across from him, picking up the newspaper that Tony had not long put down. Buck sat there picking at his fingers until Bruce finally said something to cure the silence. "Bucky are you gonna get something to eat or?" He said, glancing at him with anxiety in his eyes. Everyone could tell something had been up with the soldier for ages, but no one had said anything. Bucky snapped out of his little daydream of thinking about people to possibly be his carer and looked up at Bruce. "Oh yeah, yeah I will sorry" He said, stumbling over his words a bit as he got up from the table and went to the cupboard. When he had his back turned, pouring himself some cereal, Bruce leaned over and whispered to Steve, "Is he okay?". Steve placed the newspaper down and quietly said back, "He woke up drenched and terrified again, I don't think he's doing good". Bruce gently nodded and went back to his cereal. Bucky put his bowl on the table and sat back down, slowly eating whilst staring at the marks on the table. It was amazing the things your mind does when you're anxious. He noticed that there was a scratch on the left hand corner of the table, from when Tony tripped over mjölnir and hit the side of his ironman suit on the table. He noticed the slight red tingey stain on it underneath his arm, from when Steve was trying to teach Thor how to squeeze out ketchup without making a huge mess, obviously it didn't turn out well. These small flaws on the table he had never noticed until now, like I said you're brain does weird things when you're anxious.


	2. I’ts Ok, I’m Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no options left he finally gets the nerve to ask Steve....Or is it the opposite?...

The following few days he repeated the same ritual over and over. He woke up drenched, hurrily shoved his sweatpants and bed sheets in the washing machine, made up some excuse about being a clean frek then stressing about falling into headspace all day. It wasn’t exactly fun. By Sunday Bucky had had enough, he hasn’t fallen into headspace in over 3 months and not only does he miss it, it’s having horrible affects on him. He can’t sleep properly, hardly eats and has fallen into a depressed like state. He NEEDS to ask someone soon before the stress gets to Little bucky’s head and he regresses right in front of everylne without warning...

 

Bucky cautiously sat down on the leather couch, unaware of what was happening. “Um so you called me in here?” He quietly asked, playing with the tips of his thumbs out of nervousness. Steve rested his arms on his knees and sighed, “uh, yeah”. Bucky chewed his lip waiting for Steve to continue. “Listen I don’t want to make this stressful or anything but please Buck, whats wrong? And before you say nothing, I KNOW there is something, you haven’t been yourself in months a-and I’m really...worried”. Bucky looked up from the floor and into Steve’s worried eyes, he really was concerned for his friend. Bucky took a deep sigh and thought, fuck it...here goes nothing. “I’m a little, but I can’t find anyone to um you know, help me”. As soon as those words left his lips he immediately regretted it. His heart sped up when he noticed steve’s eyes went big in a sort of “oh, wow” way. Shit he’s going to think I’m a complete freak, Bucky thought to himself, trying to think of anyway he can get himself out of this situation. But all Steve did was lean across the couch and embrace his best friend into a hug. Bucky was expecting a disgusted response, not a hug. He was so surprised that he didn’t realise that he should probably wrap his arms around him until Steve judged him gently. “O-oh” Bucky said, startling out of his thoughts and wrapping himself around his friend. Steve lightly laughed. “You um, don’t think i’m disgusting?...”. “Of course not Buck, you’re my closest friend and tourney regression is obviously apart of you, I’m sorry i never realized” Steve said realeasing Bucky and sitting back. “Oh no no Steve it’s okay I uh, I didn’t actually know myself until a few months ago” He replied, slightly blushing Steve nodded, “Bucky, do you mind if you explain your story from the beginning, just so I can understand better?”. Bucky smiled, “Of course”

 

The next few days, after Bucky explained everything, Steve decided to do more research to try and help his friend. Bucky’s goal was to try and make Steve be his carer but there’s no way he could put that type of pressure on his friend. Bucky approached Steve’s room, standing in the doorway doubting if he should go in and say hi or not. Instead he just coughed to get his attention. Steve jumped and turn around in his chair, “Oh ah, Hey Buck”. Bucky gave him a small smile and walked into the room, his arms crossed over his chest. “I was just looking at maybe some places you go to uh when you’re little I guess” he said in a rush. Bucky noticed something immediately. Steve was nervous. He never talks that fast unless there’s either something he wants to get off his chest, or if he’s hiding something. “Um okay, thanks” is all he said back, what else was there really to say. He glanced to Steve’s laptop screen, he had a tab open that said in big fun letters “DAYLIGHTS DAYCARE FOR LITTLES”. Bucky felt like he could melt, in both a good and a bad way. He was so thankful that his friend had accepted him and didn’t tell anyone else (he wasn’t ready for that yet), but at the same time he felt like Steve was trying to push him and his “little” problem away. “Apparently it’s a really good place, they allow Little’s of all ages, it’s only during the day so at night you’d have to come back here but that’s fine, we can work out a schedule that will work...and you’re not Little every single day right?” Buck nodded yes, but he wasn’t so sure himself. 

 

That night he laid awake in bed, wishing that his mind would shut up. He rolled over and squinted through the dark at his alarm, 1:23am. He sighed and rolled back over, pulling the quilt further over his shoulder. He tossed and turned for what felt like hours until he finally got frustrated. Bucky pushed his hair back behind his ears and got out of bed, walking down the hallway. He was making a beeline straight for the kitchen where hopefully a snack might help him fall asleep, Until he heard a noise come from Steve’s room. He stopped in his tracks and slowly walked a few stepson back until he could see through the gap in the door. There Steve was sitting at his desk again, scrolling through a page on his screen. What the hell was he doing up this late? Bucky knew he shouldn’t sneak but he was curious as to why he wasn’t asleep, so he quietly stuck his upper body through the gap so he could read the screen better. The last thing he expected to see was a google search for “How to look after a little”, but that’s exactlywhat he saw. Bucky couldn’t believe it, Steve wanted to actually look after him, himself!? A smile spread across Buck’s face, as he slowly backed out of the doorway, closing the door behind him. Everything was fine until the door decided to start squeaking at an unnecessary high pitch. Shit. Bucky stopped, frozen still, somehow hoping that Steve didn’t hear that and he wouldn’t turn around to see Buck standing there. But he did. Bucky waved awkwardly, “Hi Steve”. Steve laughed and got up from his desk, walking over to Bucky with a suspicious look on his face. “Were you spying on me Bucky Barnes?” He said jokingly. “Oh no no I wasn’t I was just going to the kitchen and um I heard you and I was curiously so I just ope-“. “Buck, It’s okay, I’m just kidding” he said, cutting Bucky off. Bucky’s expression changed within an instance and he breathed out in relief. “But what’s up Buck? Did you want to see me for something?”. Bucky realised why he was standing there in Steve’s room in the first place, he inner-prepared himself for what he was about to ask. “Uh yeah Steve I wanted to ask something...If you don’t want to do it that’s completely fine I’m just desperate um but I was wondering if um-“. “Bucky, I would love to be your carer”. He stopped playing with his fingers and looked up to Steve who was standing there smiling, eyebrows raised. His mouth almost hit the floor in shock, was he sure he wasn’t dreaming? “H-how did you know?...” He replied, still in utter shock. Steve chuckled, “The look on your face when you realised I was gonna send you off to that daycare...you’re not the only one around here who’s easy to read pal”. Bucky chuckled but he couldn’t tell if it was out of surprise, anxiety or joy. “I went to sleep thinking I was doing the right thing but then I couldn’t stop feeling this horrible guilt for offering to basically send you off, then I realized what the better thing to do was, so I’ve been doing research on what we need and what my job is as your carer”. Tears welled up in Buck’s eyes, all this stress was finally gone, the only person he loved accepted him and said yes. “Don’t you dare cry, because you know I will too” Steve said, pulling his friend into a hug. Bucky let one tear spill over, despite Steve’s words. “I-I dont know how I could ever thank you Steve, thank you so much” Bucky said, his voice breaking. “You don’t have to thank me, I’m doing this for you...I love you my baby boy”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SCREAMS IN ROMANIAN*  
> so there it was, chapter 2! phew it took me a few hours to write but i like how it turned out :) the love is finally happening guys!! little bucky will finally show up!! thank you for all the love on this fic so far :) - charles


	3. Me And You

Bucky woke up, but for once (in the past few weeks) he wasn't stressed. He had a whole 8 hours of sleep, he wasn't sweating from nightmares and anxiety, he felt...fine? He didn't know what it was like to feel fine, well not in a long time anyway. He hopped out of bed with a big stretch, he definitely needed those 8 hours. After Steve and Bucky had their discussion and hugging session they stayed up for an hour doing some googling together, they managed to find an online store that sells everything they will need. Bucky regresses to around the age of a two year old so Steve figured that he'd need childish clothing, including pajamas, diapers, a toddler bed, toys, books and pacifiers. They didn't know how long they could hide all of this from the rest of the avengers so Steve decided he would rent out an apartment for him and his boy, to make Buck feel safer. Bucky couldn't believe how lucky he was to have such a kind daddy. Not long after they bought their supplies Bucky went to bed, he sure as hell needed it. Steve stayed up until sunrise figuring out the paths they should take, until his eyes almost started falling out of his head with tiredness. Before he went to sleep he left a note in the main living room in avengers headquarters for Tony too find when he wakes up,

 

IMPORTANT  
Dear Tony, I want to put the avengers behind me. The winter soldier, mine and Buck's trials, the war between us, pretend all of it never happened.  
In order for me to forget all of that, I'm going to need to start a new life. I know this is a sudden shock but I know what I'm doing. Me and Bucky will  
be living in downtown New York until we figure out what we want to do. For now, I am known only as Steve Rogers, not captain america. If you need  
anything or if the world almost ends again, call me and I guess Cap can show up. Say bye to the others for me, Be Safe.

\- Steve

7:30am

Steve knew Tony and everyone else would probably be awake soon so despite having only two hours of sleep, he got up and started packing his belongings into his bags. He didn't have much to pack, just his clothes, toiletries and his memory box he was able to recover from after the 70 year sleep. He had a couple of hundred in cash which would help, but he figured he should get a day job to pay the rent. He quietly went down the hallway, down the elevator, past Tony's cars and over to his own. He unlocked the doors, mentally kicking himself for forgetting to turn the car alarm off, and throwing his bags into the backseat. He closed the door and stood there looking at his reflection in the car door, was he doing the right thing? Was this too sudden? Shut up Rogers, you're doing this for Buck. His thoughts battled him for a few minutes until he heard someone behind him. he turned around to see his boy standing there, clad in his pajamas and holding his armful of bags. Steve smiled and helped Bucky pack them into the car. "I didn't even hear you wake up let alone start packing". "I know, that was the whole point, for no one to hear me. That way we can get away without being stopped". Steve nodded in agreement, "You sure about this Steve?". Just a minute ago he was fighting the idea to leave but now, seeing that beautiful excited smile on his boy's face, he said "Without a single doubt".

 

By the time they pulled into the small driveway of their new little home it was 10am, which was the perfect amount of time before the sun sets to unpack. Steve took the keys out of the car and happily sighed, they really did it. Bucky was almost jumping out of his seat to see the new place, he always wanted his own place. Before and during he fought in the war he always bunked with his friends in their little units. But now he had his own place, with Steve. Steve shuffled in his seat a bit and slowly put his hand in Buck's, "Welcome Home". 

 

It took them until the later afternoon to unpack, despite not having that many things. Steve checked his phone at 1 to see six missed calls from Tony, when he checked it again at 4pm he had 12 missed calls from Tony and 1 from Bruce. He figured he would deal with them later, right now he wanted to spend time with his boy. "So, I was thinking that we can share the master bedroom, oh um if that's okay with you...and the other room could be my room, for when I you know, regress?". Steve put his phone back on the kitchen bench and looked up to Buck, smiling. "That sounds great". By night fall every room was finished, except Bucky's room which was completely empty. The kitchen was painted a soft creme color that made Bucky feel safe and warm. The lounge room came with a TV and a three seater lounge, with plush cushions in either couch corner. The master bedroom was plain for the time being, it had a double bed, a wardrobe and two bedside tables on either side. Steve said that he would invest in some art to hang on the walls to make it feel more lively, Bucky liked the sound of that. Buck looked down at his watch, "Holy shit, it's 9 o'clock already?". Steve snickered, "Yep, that's what happens when you spend the whole day moving I guess". Bucky smiled back. It was quiet for about two minutes before Steve spoke, "You don't regret any of this?". Bucky looked up at him with shocked eyes, "Are you kidding? I freakin love this place, plus, I can't believe you actually did all this for us!, you're incredible Steve". Steve's face beamed, it was so nice to see his boy finally smile, it felt like it had been ages.

 

A few minutes after they went to bed, Steve wrapped his arm around Buck's waist. Bucky turned his head slowly, a bit confused. Steve only smiled and said "Just a fathers instinct to make sure their baby has a good safe sleep". Bucky smiled back and turned back 'round. The joy was practically glowing off his face, he remembered what it was like to be happy. All thanks to Steve.


	4. First time

Steve woke up to the sound of cries, his eyes opened wide and he turned over to see Bucky laying there sobbing, clutching onto his groin. "Hey hey baby its okay, whats wrong?". Steve sat up and helped Buck do the same. Steve's eyes drifted down to where Bucks hands were and saw that he had wet the bed. This was it, their official first day of daddy and baby. He assumed Buck had regressed down to what he said was his usual state, which is two years old. Steve got up and walked hurriedly to the the other side of the bed, lifting a crying Bucky into his arms. As he walked towards the bedroom bathroom he silently thanked himself for taking the serum, it made carrying Bucky so much easier, he felt as light as an actual two year old. When they got to the bathroom Steve placed Bucky down gently on the tiles, resting his head on a folded towel. All Bucky's furniture was coming today, His crib, changing table, dressers, more clothes, toys, books and diapers. Steve pulled a diaper out of the box on the floor labeled "BATHROOM SUPPLIES". Bucky rubbed his wet puffy eyes and his sobs faded off, he knew his daddy was here now and soon he would be comfortable and warm again. Steve gently ran his hands over buckys forehead, swiping the strand of long black hair out of his eyes, Bucky loved that. The feeling of someone showing their affection. "Lets get you all cleaned up and then we'll have some breakfast yeah?". Bucky gurgled in delight, he truly had regressed. Steve unfolded the tabs on the diaper and laid it out on the floor. He took Bucky's shirt off considering it was all sweaty, then his pajamas pants and underwear. He grabbed a towel from the box and wiped away as much as he could, he gave himself a mental note to give him a bath later. He shimmed the diaper underneath his butt and taped the straps down, making it nice and snug. He rummaged through their clothing box until he found some suitable clothes for today. It was the middle of autumn so a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants sounded good. He helped his baby get dressed into the clothing and then picked him up again, throwing Bucky's wet clothes into the hamper on the way out.

 

"Hereeeeee comes the quinjet!" Steve said as he moved a spoonful of mashed banana towards Bucky's mouth. Bucky squealed and happily took the spoon to eat. Steve knew by the time he was finished eating there would be banana all over Buck's face, hair and the highchair but his baby was happy so he didn't care. Bucky ate happily for the next twenty minutes, managing to get mushy banana all on his face, in his hair and down his chest. Steve got up, grab the bowl and spoon and walked towards the sink. Bucky's smile drifted down and he began to sob, why was daddy leaving him alone? "Oh no no baby it's ok, daddy's just washing your dishes" Steve said when he started to hear the soft weeps coming from his boy. Steve walked over to his highchair and lifted him up into his arms, Bucky rested his head on Steve's shoulder and his cries stopped. "How about we watch a movie yeah? Since it's our first day I think we should just relax and have some fun". Bucky loved that idea. Steve grabbed a wet cloth and wiped his boy down, he definitely needed a bath after the movie. Steve sat down on the couch, his baby curling up onto his chest. "Meemo" Bucky quietly said. Steve looked down, "Nemo?". He couldn't quite understand his baby yet. Bucky nodded. He flicked through Netflix until he found his baby's request. As the movie started Steve pulled a knitted blanket over the top of them and put the foot rest out, and Bucky felt safe and calm.

 

Bucky awoke, rubbing his eyes slowly. He looked up to see his daddy fast asleep, his head leaning on the edge of the couch headrest. He turned around to see the credits of nemo playing, NEXT UP: Monsters Inc on the screen. Oh oh, he didn't like this movie, it made him scared. All the big scary monsters roaring and scaring the kids, he hated it. But he was a baby, he doesn't know how to turn the tv off. He contemplated waking daddy up but he knew he needed sleep, and to make matters worse he realized he'd made a mess all in his diaper. His bottom lip started to wobble, he really needed daddy. As the movie started Bucky covered his eyes with his hands and buried back into daddy's chest, small whimpers coming out of him. Steve slowly groaned and opened his eyes, what was all that noise? He yawned and looked down to see his boy in tears, clutching onto his shirt for dear life. "Oh bay what's wrong?" He said, grabbing an armful of Bucky and scooping him up to his chin, inspecting his face to see if he was hurt. Bucky just pointed to the tv and kept crying. Oh shit, Steve remembered Buck telling him that Monsters Inc scared the hell out of him. He felt like such a bad daddy. He reached for the remote and turned the tv off as quickly as he could. "Baby I'm so sorry hey hey, It's off now". Bucky slowed his crying down and returned to sniffling, peaking his big blue eyes through his hands. "Hi" He said, his voice cracking a bit. Steve chuckled, "Hi baby" he replied with a smile. "How about we change you and have a bath yeah?". Bucky nodded and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, "yes pwlease".

 

Steve shimmied Buck's banana and milk stained shirt and threw them into the pile of dirty clothes in the corner of the bathroom. Then off went his socks and pants before reaching the diaper, which was entirely full. This is going to be fun, Steve thought to himself. Bucky laid there, playing with a toy phone, "Beep beep, Lello?". Steve quietly laughed at his boys attempt at saying hello. Steve undid the tabs and wished himself luck, meanwhile Bucky was completely lost in the colors lighting up on his phone. It was both poop and pee, great. Steve grabbed a handful of wipes and rubbed Bucky down until he was sparkling clean, he still needed a bath to get rid of the stink though. He lifted his giggling baby under the arms and sat him down in the bathtub which was full of warm bubbly water. He splashed about with his toy boats and sharks until it was reaching 2pm. He planned on giving his boy lunch, some playtime, dinner at 6 and bed at 7. He knew his baby needed sleep, he didn't want him to get cranky and overtired. He was taken out of his thoughts by a splash of water hitting his cheek, follow by a loud laugh from Bucky. He splashed him back and he giggled madly, Steve hadn't seen Bucky this happy in years. This made him endlessly happy to see him smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, this is my first time writing on AO3 as I have moved from wattpad, I will lay out the basics that I hope to go further with this book in a minute but just a thank you (and if you couldnt tell a gift) to nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie for the inspiration! Her main fic is amazing and I have fallen in love with it <3 so even though my writing will probably be shitty, this is for her! This first chapter is short I know but it's just some backstory so that I can actually get onto little!bucky in the next chapters, thanks for reading :)
> 
>  
> 
> also, i figure i shouldn't say the lay outs of this book because its technically spoilers so ;)  
> hoping to update/write a new chapter every 2-3 days, depending on how busy my life is


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